Agreements for a time apart

Use this checklist to discuss practical arrangements while living apart. Write short answers that fit your circumstances. Agreements can change and should reflect what each partner can realistically do.

Keeping in touch

• When is a message or call usually possible?
• What will we do if a planned conversation cannot happen?
• How will we identify a genuinely urgent household question?
• Which subjects should wait for a longer conversation?

For military families, contact also depends on service conditions and rules. Do not write down operational details, locations or other information that cannot be shared.

Decisions and daily tasks

Decide which questions you will settle together and which the partner at home can handle independently. Discuss purchases, household tasks, support for relatives and family plans. With their agreement, identify people you can ask for specific practical help.

Support

Ask what helps each person feel cared for at a distance. It might be a short message, a conversation about an ordinary day or involvement in an important decision. Avoid comparing your needs. Look for a realistic way to take both into account.

Reviewing the agreements

Choose an opportunity to revisit the list. Ask what works, what has become unrealistic and where help is needed. If you are planning a visit, discuss time for two separately from tasks that can wait.

Read the article on staying connected while apart.